Like a Fly on the Wall by Simone Kelly

Author:Simone Kelly
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2017-05-18T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 21

Jacques

Until I was about twelve years old, almost every other night, I saw my father, but I kept it a secret. He sat across from me in my bedroom, wearing his signature black button-down linen shirt and khaki pants. That was what he always wore in my dreams, so I take it that it must have been his favorite outfit. His accessories were his “I Love the Giants” coffee mug and a pack of Marlboros in his front pocket. He looked as if he were the same age he was when he died, only forty-one. His tan olive skin was identical to mine. Deep brown eyes stared at me, but it wasn’t intimidating. He had a warm expression, not quite a smile, but a look of contentment. He also held a Bible in his hand. It looked like my mother’s, because it had a leather case with her initials MMB (Marguerite Marie Berradi).

He would start to speak, but I could never hear him. His lips moved slowly, but no sound ever came out. Always the storyteller and expressive with his hands, he frustrated me because I couldn’t hear the words that went along with his animated movements. He was pointing and waving the Bible as he spoke. Every now and then, Dad would slow down and take a sip of his coffee. My dream always ended with him trying to hand me the Bible. I would reach out to grab it and my hands would transform into soft, weak, six-year-old hands. Too tiny to grasp the heavy leather-bound book. It would fall to the ground and the loud sound would startle me out of my dream. My dad was Muslim, so his handing me the Bible didn’t make sense to me. He never had his own. I’d recently had this same dream at least once a week in the last month. I couldn’t figure it out. I didn’t know what he was trying to tell me. It just didn’t make any sense. . . . The Bible, coffee, his talking wildly, and my being a child. It was frustrating, because I couldn’t hear a word. He was speaking intensely, really trying to tell me something, but no sound came out. I had to try to be awake the next time I had it. Maybe I could read his lips or something.

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